Spilling the Tea on Depression


I’m writing this blog at 11:30am after just waking up, again. I was up early and thought that I needed a bit more sleep, so I fell back to sleep, and now I feel worse than earlier. So foggy but that is exactly why I wanted to write about this.

I have been trying to figure out what to write for a blog post that will get myself out there and let people know who I am, and I think being brutally honest is a great way to do that and also a way to normalize things around this topic. So, here is a part of my life that I want to discuss!

For the last few weeks I have been battling my depression. It has been so hard to wake up, to get out of bed, to act like I’m feeling okay. This is a topic I’ve wanted to write about but because my depression kills my motivation it has taken me awhile to do so! This is also something I know a lot of people reading this will be able to relate to so I wanted to let everyone know that IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY.

I find that a lot of discussions about depression and mental health in general try to make it positive:

“You will feel better soon!”

“This will only last for a little while and then you will be back to yourself!”

These positive affirmations can really help some, I think it’s very important to remain positive as much as you can, but sometimes I think it’s also important to be blatantly honest with yourself which can be a challenge.

In order to get better, no matter the illness, you have to understand what it is and why you’re feeling the way you are. If you have a stuffy nose and a sore throat you most likely know that you have a cold and you would go to the doctor or the pharmacy to get medication to treat it. Now, with depression, this isn’t nearly as easy to do, but letting yourself feel what you’re feeling is a good step in helping yourself.

Letting yourself feel what you’re feeling is a good step in helping yourself.

I never used to do this. I would just go about my days and not let something like my mental health stop me, but that would result in negative outcomes. Going through school to become a doula, graduating, and getting into the community has taught me so much about accepting yourself and letting yourself feel. I have seen so much about self-care and self-acceptance amongst different personalities on the internet that I follow, I have learned from my professors that I had who would teach us different viewpoints on many topics; seeing so many different ways to live your life has really changed my viewpoint on a lot of things.

You are allowed to let yourself feel like shit. You don’t have to be happy and positive all of the time, you don’t have to live up to everyone’s expectations every single day, and you don’t need to force yourself to be okay when you’re not. Give yourself time to feel, accept that right now you are not well, and allow yourself to do what you need to.

Let yourself stay in bed all day if you need to!

Too busy? Then take as much time as you can to do nothing in the comfort of your bed. If you need to sob for half an hour that’s okay! If you need to binge eat junk food that’s okay too! Take that long shower if you need it! Don’t shower at all!

You need to listen to your body and do what it’s telling you, even if that feels unproductive and unhealthy, it’s so important to connect with yourself and let yourself do what you need to in order to feel better. We all try so hard to stay perfect; eating healthy, setting a routine, exercising, whatever it may be. But, sometimes you need to say fuck that and do what you believe is necessary. That’s taking proper care of you.

I feel like I may be rambling a bit…

…but in the end, I just want to say that you need to listen your depression. Do what you believe is necessary to cope with it. You don’t need to rush to feel better. You are allowed to let yourself be down, it is normal when you have depression. I also want to say that I am very open, I want to help anyone who needs it. So, I am always here to listen to others if that is needed, or answer questions! So, if you need someone who understands what you’re going through please reach out!

P.S. I also want to add that getting help for your depression or any mental health issue is advised! Allow yourself to get help from doctors if you need it. This is so important too, and is absolutely not something I am not disregarding.